Screwtape

First off let me say why does he have to use big words(or just words that I don't use or normally hear used), because I spend a lot of the time wondering what that meant or looking it up to figure it out. Second off was he saying that we should not marry for love or that we should not marry only for love. He talks about a couple united as one flesh, then points out that it doesn't say a couple in love or anything else for that matter. So does that mean that anytime I date I am all of a sudden one flesh just because now there is some sort of significant other in my life?

Now I do also think that maybe he could have been just pointing out the fact that so many couple don't try to work through things just because they say that they are no longer "in love". Then later on he goes into a relationship being for reproduction and family, but there has to be some pleasure and simple companionship involved in there also. Doesn't there???

Being "in love" is one of the things that I have had trouble with for a couple of reasons; 1. I am not sure I want to trust someone else with something that I have broken in other people(the heart), 2. I know they will expect things out of me that I am not sure I have to give or even, at times, want to give. Is that wrong??

Now, I realize some of you my family in particular are wondering why I haven't found a woman and settled down, here are the real life reasons. I am more scared of being in that 51% of all marriages that end up in divorce, that I figure it might just be easier to not deal with it. Also, what makes me worthy of having someone who will enjoy my company, most of the time, and want to be with me. I'm not sure I deserve that. I have had the opportunity of having a girl or two that really wanted to be with me and liked it, but with them I basically threw them out on the door step and told them to leave me alone.

So is Screwtape telling is nephew to watch out for people like me or encourage people like me, the unsure and unwilling. I understand that he saying to encourage me to get into an intimate relationship, make mistakes, and say it was because of love and now it's not here so the relationship must be over. What if there really is love should I hide it, let it out, or just let it ride and see how we both come out. I understand that the intimate side of the relationship shouldn't be "enjoyed" until the appropriate time, but what about just the pure companionship side, the wanting to be with each other, the dates, the enjoyment of each others company, basically just the riding on the motorcycle down to the beach just to enjoy a nice sunset or a cool night.

So there you have a little bit of my strange mind and my normally insane thoughts.