Living Hope and Real Life

I can never be the Christian I promised to be, but I know that He will be the God and Savior he promised me.

This statement started of my day today and I believe that it helped tie everything that I have been thinking and hoping together. Is it a coincidence that the past two churches that I actually claim to attend are named Hope and Life?

Hope
Webster's defines hope as the trust that what is wanted will happen. The picture of hope is the ones around me who never lost faith, who always knew somewhere deep inside that I would not...could not stay away too long. Constant prayers of my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, Shonnie and many others who care more for me than I could ever know, are just a sign of hope, hope that one day I would be who I am supposed to be. It has been a long and weary road for all of us I'm sure, but the fact that God is still who he promises he is and the fact that I am now stepping out into uncomfortable territory for me, is sign that maybe I'm on the right track.

Life
Now that I am on my way back, it's time I start living life. For the past couple of months now I have actually been singing with my praise team and I think I am starting to find this life that I am supposed be living. I am uncomfortable every time I get up in front of all those people (about 70) and there times when nothing goes right in practice, but after everything that you think could go wrong, does and our worship service turns out to be nothing short of awesome, I know that there is always some kind of divine intervention. Sundays have become the most busy day of the week and always the most rewarding.

Threats
Tuesday night, late, I got a message that said, " be on your guard because the enemy is fighting for you". I was blown away. Why would he be fighting for me? "He has had you in his hold for a long time now, he won't give you up without a fight", I was told. I really was not sure if I was ready for this. Could I handle an attack on my life? How would he attack me? I am vulnerable in so many different areas. I really had no clue what to do, luckily I have been listening and taking notes during the messages. A couple of weeks ago we talked about worry, the general message was when you're worried pray. So that is what I did, actual face down (another study I'm doing) prayer. After that I started to go back through The Screwtape Letters and see how C.S. Lewis thought that we as Christians come under attack. I kept myself out of tempting situations and away from things that could possibly be a foot hold. The closer I got to Sunday, the more I worried about a simple attack on the praise team, on our mind set, voice, attitude, technical issues, anything that could possibly go wrong. Would this be the unexpected blow, a week without real, authentic worship? NOPE!!!

Answers
Everything came together in the message for me. The God that I put all my hopes in and trust my life with, is real. For him to be who he says he is, he has to have power over everything. Some have had power over some things, sickness, some even cast out demons, but none have been able to conquer death but the One who watches over me. God has power over everything, he doesn't need anything from us but delights in all the things we give him. God wants our best and will help us any way he can. He'll give us strength when we need it, He'll give us rest when we need that, He'll even help us through the attacks of the enemy.

Truth
So after all my thinking, studying, listening and learning I have discovered something that I am sure you already knew. All I have to do is give him all my hope, all my life, and trust in his real power and I will be taken care of.

Thank you for never losing hope and always being there to help with my continued return and growth.